Thank God For Snail Mail

Observation: It's quite funny, but true if you think about it, that snail mail is now the best new way to ensure your communications stay private ... well, unless you're in prison. LOL.

With government now gathering all your emails, your tweets, your instagram photos, invading your Dropboxes, and snooping through all your Facebook messages & posts, who would have thought the first line of defense of our privacy would be underpaid & overworked Postal workers? At least they do have blues uniforms and a Postmaster General, which seems appropriate for the defenders of the last bastion of the freedom to communicate privately in America.  Through rain, wind, sleet & snow, the Post Office always delivers privacy. Except on Saturdays. Or Sundays. Not enough money in the budget to allow Americans the luxury of private communications on the weekends.  But not to worry, all the corporate headquarters are closed on weekends! They'll be just fine, they've got UPS.

It's all good, considering we still have the legendary postal army to protect our privacy & deliver our letters in style, in a sort of timely fasion, in bermuda shorts.  If we have secrets we need to share, we can always resort to snail mail.  Coolio!  Because we all know that government can't open our mail without a warrant.  Well, hopefully, that's still the law.  And as you have probably experienced, postal workers can be vicious about enforcing postal rules, at least while they still have a budget. Maybe we should require postal workers to carry guns, at least in the Red states (and Blue states that have not passed gun reform yet), to defend our freedom to dump our boyfriends insensitively or tell our boss to shove it by certified letter.  After all, what could possibly go wrong?  It's not like any of our fearless army of bermuda short wearing post office workers has ever "gone postal."  Oh, wait.  

And it's not like the FBI has ever opened a letter suspected of containing ricin.  On Mars.  Yet.

And what letter doesn't contain ricin these days?  According to the FBI.  In secret courts.

Who would have predicted that snail mail would be our last bastion of communication privacy?  Is it possible for government to resist the temptation?  Is it possible the Post Office won't be around much longer?  Is it possible that Americans just don't care enough to get off the couch?  We shall see.

Mr. President, A Legacy Of Secrecy?

Americans want privacy, and security, and for their government to know and respect the difference. But I would not want to be the government spokesperson called on to defend the drawing of that line.

And "trust me," Mr. President, may be the truth, but it's also not what people want to hear in a climate of wiretapping of reporters and the IRS going after your enemies, even if they shouldn't be tax free.

Drones have no secrets, but those caught on either side of their use do.  Are they terrorists?  Are you sure? We need you to be sure.  But we need you to be sure that we are safe.  No room for mistakes or doubt.  Grey is not an acceptable color choice.  But neither is blood red.  We prefer the illusion of black or white.

The NDAA has done you no favors and your signing statement does not bind the next administration.  Nor has Congress being wishy-washy on closing Guantanamo.  Everybody hates terrorists, but nobody wants a terrorist prison in their back yard, even a super-high max, no one has ever escaped, prison.

There can be no leaks, but no wiretapping of reporters.  No reading of emails or listening in without a warrant.  But when you appoint all the prosecutors and judges on the FISA Court, and cloak it in top secrecy, telling people who don't trust you to "trust you" is never a successful strategy.  It merely begs the question. You may be doing the right thing.  Striking the right balance.  But you will never convince us in secret.  The perfect political shit storm is brewing.  Be careful, Mr. President, or this will be your true legacy. 

We will hear a lot of "I welcome this discussion" over the next few weeks.  And little to no real answers. Providing real answers on how to balance privacy and secrecy is a highly flammable practice, considering no answer will ever be a satisfactory answer to all.  And while that may always be true, the percentage of disgruntled will be particularly high for these issues.  We all want to be safe, in private.

Nobody wants to be the defender of the line.  It's a no win situation.  The left, the right, the center, the up and the down will all attack with a voracious ferocity usually only displayed by the tin-foil hatted in hot pursuit of a particular suspected gay pinko facist totalitarian black Kenyan, eh Mr. Clapper?

Never mind that we live in a complicated world that is getting more complex at an exponential rate.  That is the nature of computers.  They are quite useful, until they don't work or are pointed at you.

We are a silly lot.  Confused even.  But do not pour gas on our fire.  Delusional though it may be.

We're all too busy asking, like Jay Leno: "When did the government become our psycho ex-girlfriend?"

Don't laugh Mr. President.

Is it possible to draw a perfectly balanced line?  Is it possible to provide safety without ever invading privacy?  Where would you draw that line?  And how would you defend it?  O' the possibilities!